look at the stars, look how they shine for you (a post of pretty.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” –Vincent Van Gogh

 



all pictures via weheartit.

To my broken sisters.

I'd forgotten how marvelous it is to lose yourself in a book. To open up the pages and dive into another world, one that steals you away from your troubles, your fretting, your moments of whirling thoughts; even if it's just for a little while.

To escape is to breathe for a bit. And I love to find that escape in the pages of a book. And then after the book is finished and sitting next to you because you can't bear to put it back on the shelf again yet, you find it nearly impossible to pick another. Because for me, I almost always find it too difficult to move on from the world I just closed...often times, I need to say my goodbyes before opening a new story.

I finished a book today that's been on my shelf for nearly two years now, called "Hold Still" by Nina LaCour. It's about the friendship between two girls, Caitlin and Ingrid...and how Caitlin is picking up the pieces of her life after Ingrid commits suicide right at the end of sophomore year of high school.  One day, Caitlin finds that Ingrid had slid her journal underneath Caitlin's bed before she took her life...and so a journey of healing begins for Caitlin, all during the time that she's holding onto this last piece of Ingrid that she has left.

This story reached out and grabbed something in me, something I'd pushed aside, and ignored for so long, and I only want to talk about it now because I'm realizing more and more that most of us have felt desperately alone and hopeless at one point or another. But so often, the problem is that we don't talk about it. Like me. For years, throughout middle school and high school.

I still remember the very first moment I thought to myself, "Is this what depression feels like?", as I was walking out of the lunch room in the 7th grade. Through the following years, through the making and breaking of friendships, I was a very broken young girl...and I know with all my heart and soul that if not for my great love for my family, and the Lord's hand being on me always, I would not be here today.

I was always hurting...oftentimes, I didn't even know what the reason was behind it. Mostly, it all stemmed from a betrayal from my closest friends in freshman year...I had given my complete trust to these girls, and we were thick as thieves. Then one day, we weren't; I'm sure I'll never understand teenage girls. And unfortunately, the friendship(s) didn't end cleanly; It was a mess. And it broke me down to the point that feels like the worst possible place to be when you're a 15 year old girl.
And it was a very long, rough road getting out of that place. And I never used to believe the phrase "Time heals all wounds"... I still don't know that I fully believe it. But I do know for a fact that time lessens the pain, and gradually makes it easier to breathe again.

I remember quite vividly how I felt during those years. And so badly, I wish I could now go back in time, give myself a hug, and say..."Hey. It's going to be okay. I promise. Time passes quicker than you can possibly realize, and before you know it, this will all be a memory. Just keep holding on."

I guess that's why I'm posting this now. You see, I never talked about what I now know to have been depression. I still don't talk about it; Even though there are moments when that time comes up when I'm down, it is in the past. The Lord brought me through that time, and though my journey is far from over, I feel that that awful chapter is finally closed.

But I want YOU to know, that if that girl is you...if you're hurting and aching and you feel like you just want peace and rest; if you feel as if you don't have a friend in the world, and the light at the end of the tunnel will never reach you...my dear, you are not alone.
You are loved by the one true God. And even in your greatest darkness, He does not abandon you. And some day you'll look back and see it clearly...just like I do now.

And how fitting that as I'm finishing this post, Matt Redman's "Never Once" comes on Pandora.
"Scars and struggles on the way, but with joy our hearts can say, never once did we ever walk alone, never once did you leave us on our own."
...I've never heard this song before. Chills.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, for reaching down and reminding us of your neverending faithfulness.

Stay strong, my chickadees, no matter what battle it is that you're walking through right now.

Our God is a God who rescues.
My heart is overwhelmed.
 

My heart's on overload.

"Being with you is like walking on a very clear morning; I definitely have the sensation of belonging there."-EB White

 

"There is nothing sweeter in this sad world than the sound of someone you love calling your name." -Kate DiCamillo

 

"You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper,and I don't know how I could live without you for as long as I have. I love you, more than you can ever imagine. I always have, and I always will." -Nicholas Sparks

 

"I don't want sunbursts or marble halls...I just want you."-Anne of Green Gables

 

"You are my new dream."

 

"She found herself doing silly things...singing love songs in the dark, reading poems that made her cry. She cut her hair too short, bought herself a keychain shaped like a heart,and watched Casablanca at two o'clock in the morning. She was in love for the first time in her life." -Where the Heart is

 

"I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say 'Hi'. They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word." -Augusten Burroughs

 

"Any day spent with you is my favorite day. So, today is my new favorite day." -Winnie the Pooh

 

"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." -Emily Bronte

 

"I'll know he's the one when he makes me laugh." -Minnie Mouse :)

 

"Never settle for anything less than butterflies."

 

"You are every lovely word I could possibly think of."

 

 

"To love another person is to see the face of God." -Les Mis

 

 

This heart is a great and terrible thing. Open it up to someone, and you risk the most wonderful thing in all the world, and also the worst. Question is, is it worth it? A part of me wants to say, "No, no it's not". But the other part says, "Ah, but what if it does" work out?

...The Lord's up to something. I just don't know what exactly it is just yet. Scary? A little. Exciting? Always.

:)

 

 

 

Are you looking?

 

Yesterday. A potentially sad day. As one character says in the Hallmark movie, "Most Wonderful Time of the Year", "For me, the 26th is the saddest day of the year." All of the anticipation is gone, people immediately begin to forget that happy Christmas feeling, and the magic gradually disappears. We had a bit of a blizzard here though, and that actually lifted my spirits just a bit, if you can believe it. I absolutely love to watch the snow...It never fails to amaze me how much can be going on in the world outside; it can look so intense, but when you're standing outside in the falling snow, it's so silent. (If there's no wind, of course). And even though I hate to drive in it, I couldn't help but notice that the street near our office that I drive down every evening looked like it was straight out of a Christmas card tonight. Absolutely beautiful. And it made me completely forget that my car was sliding all over the road for just a moment. ;)

 

I'm learning more and more lately that it truly makes the biggest difference to look at things through a lens that points out the beauty of everything...because there is so much beauty to be found, if only we're willing to look for it. And to look for it, and to find it, is to feel so much freer.

More than anything, I wish I could go for a walk in the snow tonight. One of my favorite things in all the world is the way that snow glitters at nighttime when just a hint of light touches it. Well, due to my being laid up with my ankle, unfortunately that's not going to happen today...so go take a walk in the snow for me, would ya? Enjoy that glitter that God scatters all over this time of year :)

 

"Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
~Roald Dahl~

 

 

 

So as I sit here, the Gilmores on in the background (because what else would you expect from me?), a Hershey's bar next to me, the Christmas lights still casting a pinkish glow on my orange walls, and both dogs chilling out on the floor, I figured, why not hop on the blog for a bit? I've never been much of a real blogger...just more of one who shares happy little things. But I'm working on training myself to actually be a blogger; you know, one who writes actual posts, instead of little blurbs. We'll see if this works out.

 

Have a good night, sweet chickadees.

 

 

Stopping in to say...

 

I hope you're all having a wonderful, fabulous Christmas! I'm just stopping in to tell you...

 

I got a laptop for Christmas!! (Thanks Nana!) Do you have any idea what this means???

 

Back to routinely blogging for me!! Woohoo! I've been without a real way to blog for months now, and I've been a bit sad without it. So this is me saying, I'm baaack!!!

 

Now that you're aware, and your day has been made brighter because of it... ;)

Merry Christmas guys!! You'll be hearing from me soon :D

 

And just because:

Who is this stranger stopping in???



Yes, yes, Peter, I will!

Closer and closer, every day.

More than enchanted.

All the time. For peppermint patties.

I'd like to sing at the Bluebird with Gunner, pretty please.

Will this ever get old?

PS....I love you.

Is there anything more perfect?

Thank you for this, Mr. Rogers.

Pretty please??

 

 

What? Could this really be? Is Lauren really back on her blog after almost 5 months??

 

Hehee. Hey guys! It's been an insanely long time. Obviously. Our laptop kind of gave up and died on us, and our desktop has been down for a while. Blogging on your iPhone doesn't exactly work. And so, I've been away from Blogger for a very long time...And I've missed it! And all of you sweet fellow bloggers!

 

So this is me popping in to say "howdy-do" and giving a little update. Nothing too crazy has been going on with me lately...As of today, I'm back on crutches for the same ankle sprain I had in March (!). Which if you were around then, you may remember me talking about that ;) Still work, work, working at the doctor's office. Christmas is coming! Woohoo!

 

Things are going so well at this very moment in time. I know, I know, "things are going well and you were just put in a boot and on crutches for a month??" Yep. :) But I can't disclose my reasons just yet. But when the time is right, you'll all get to hear about it. :D

 

I miss you guys, I love you guys. I hope all is well!

And merry week before Christmas!!! :D