because I need to smile. :)

"And finally I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside..."

~Anne Frank~

all photos via weheartit.

It's over, it's underneath, it's inside, it's in between...

So often, I let things get between us. I build these walls, ones that I can never hope to tear back down on my own.

I forget that as a child of the Most High God, I have the power to tell Satan that he "shall NOT pass", and I give him footholds. I turn my eyes from where they need to be, and take two steps backwards.

I fall and feel as if I'll never get up again.

But somehow...some way...He rescues me.

Over and over.

When I very least deserve it.

When I'm the one pounding those nails into his hands and feet.

He picks me up. He holds my heart. He says, "You're still mine."

Oh, my Lord, how I have missed You.

Watch this.

ooooh the joy!

Aaaah.

Friday night.

Tinkerbell PJ's.

Cozy warm bed=12 hour hibernation.

Phillip Phillips' lovely song "Home" playing in the background. (Yay Phillip!!! I knew he'd win ;)

And overall, quiet. Peace and quiet.

Aaaah.

Was I really just complaining about being home on a Friday night a few weeks ago?

I take it ALL back!!! I'm so happy I could die :]

I finally finished watching Downton Abbey, after finding season 2 at Best Buy (last copy=mine! Yes.)

Oh my goodness my gracious. You know...I think that Matthew Crawley might just have become my favorite fictional male character. As in, I'm pretty much in love with him. Ahhh if only he were real.

The bad side to all of this? Now must wait until January to see season 3. Booo.

Can I just say, the whole Matthew-Mary relationship is so inspiring? I mean, really. It's like, a 7 year ordeal.

That gets me.

Tenth Avenue North has a new song; I'd almost forgotten how much I love these guys. Love. Every single song has a message; this one is not excluded from that...and after a hard week dealing with people, it reaches out and grabs my heart.

My hair is finally growing out. It's been nearly 5 years since I cut it super short. And it's just now almost back to where it was. (My hair takes the longest time to grow. Clearly.) That picture's a lie though. It's not *that* long, and it certainly hasn't turned that brown either. :P

(In other words, no that is not my hair. I wish.)

Did I tell you guys that I had an allergic reaction to my brother's cat? It looks like my dreams of someday having a lovely kitty to call my own shall not be coming true.

I'll never be the same. *sigh*

On the note of lovely kitties, the sweet moment of my day was when the computer guy who came into work today to switch the one computer out for a new one actually took the time (after being there for almost 5 hours) to switch my cute kitty background from the old computer to the new computer. It was the sweetest thing ever.

And that's him, that's him!!! I found him :D

Did I mention that this is a three day weekend? Did I mention that I'm so happy I could die?? :D :D :D

That's why her hair's so big. It's full of secrets.

Best. Show. Ever.

Seriously.

"I will always find you!"

Oh, my heart.

Sometimes I wish I could be woken up from an evil curse to find out that I'm really a fairytale princess. Who then immediately finds her long lost prince charming. And then lives happily ever after.

Ahhh.

So you know those little codes inside of Disney DVD's? Yeah. Not junk!! They're magical little gems, and you should treasure them ;D No, really. Look what's on it's way in the mail (See photo above) thanks to Disney Movie Rewards (remember the magic codes we just talked about??). I'm so excited about this. I'm totally gonna start baking just because of this! ;D

Okay, working at a doctor's office? Oh gosh, I wish I could tell you guys the things that go on. Of course, I can't. But I wish I could. Let me just say, I get some funny stories ;D Too bad I can't share them...Dagnabbit. Oh well.

I'm now pretty sure I'm allergic to cats.

I'm devastated.

Weddings, weddings, weddings. One this week for my friend; that's the one I'm in! Yay?

Then another in a few weeks for my employer's son. I've met him and his fiancee a few times, though don't really know them all that well...but I officially love weddings. And I'll actually be able to sit back and enjoy this one; I'm not in it! Ha! Keep in mind, I've been in 3 weddings in the past 10 months. :o So it'll be nice.

I love spring.

*deep breath of fresh air*

...or summer. Whatever you'd call what we're having.

I don't need a cookie.

I don't.

I really don't.

*cough*

Belle gets me.

The high point of my Friday night was sitting outside in the grass watching the storm clouds roll in. Now, don't misunderstand: I was nearly entirely content in this activity. I find I breathe so much easier when I'm outside, away from the house, away from the noise of life.

Yet still, as I picked up a dandelion and watched the little petals (for lack of a better word) float away on the wind, I caught myself singing Belle's very own words...

"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere...I want it more than I can tell. And for once, it might be grand to have someone understand...I want so much more than they've got planned."

I must say, it was a very Disney-esque moment.

;)

But really. I've got to be *the* most boring 19 year old girl on the face of the earth.

The 19 year old receptionist who savors the weekends, and finds her "quiet time" in them.

Ha, what a laugh.

"Every morning just the same since the morning that we came to this poor provincial town..."

My days are starting to blend together. Every day the same thing over and over. And I find myself thinking, "this cannot be all there is!"

*sigh*

But for now, I'm doing what I can, and doing my best to wait on God. See what comes along next. Because I know I'm where He wants me to be now. I'm just not sure what He's doing.

But I get the feeling He's not going to bring along some beast of a man who's really a prince in disguise who'll whisk me away to his castle where we'll live happily ever after.

Wouldn't that be grand?

Maybe it'll be that cute landscaper instead....

Oh my word, I'm so bad.

because other people tend to say fantastic things.

Will I ever stop being foolish?

*sigh*

I leave you with this:

Ha.

;)

you're beautiful, *every* little piece, love.

I often times have days in which I look in the mirror, and all I see are flaws. When I find myself listing all of the things I'd like to fix...

"I wish my face was thinner."

"Why can't my hair just be one distinct color?"

"My hips are so wide."

"How'd I get stuck with the hourglass figure??"

"Maybe I should dye my hair."

"I need to lose weight."

"Why do I have to be so curvy?"

"Why can't I look more like her?"

"How can I make myself prettier??"

I get myself to the point where I can hardly look in the mirror, where I so desperately

want to fit that image of the picture perfect girl who struts around in a bikini,

her perfect hair, looking, well, perfect, and her flawless face glowing in perfection...

(redundant, I know. And yes, I know bikinis aren't the most modest option; I'm making a point

though!)

But today, when I was having a brief moment of one on one mirror time,

I was reminded of this quote I'd heard recently:

"I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature

that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God's thought,

and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking."

~George MacDonald~

When I'd first heard that, I was thinking of it in terms of who I am and will be as a person,

in the direction my life is headed...but today was the first time it struck me in a physical sense...

I actually had a moment when I thought to myself, "How dare I call myself anything other than

beautiful?" That's like insulting one of God's greatest masterpieces: us. You. Me.

We are His greatest work. We are each of us different in so many ways, yet the same in this:

we have a Creator who knit us together, who blended all of the details of our very selves

together to create something He sees as beautiful. Something He thought over, planned out,

put His time and effort into.

Can you imagine?

The God of the universe taking time to create you? Me? I cannot fathom it.

But I do know that this realization that He is the one who made me who I am,

who carefully thought out each detail about me, who always had my image in His mind, has me

seeing myself in a different light. Instead of seeing the worldly perfection I lack, I see other things:

I see my deep blue eyes that have little specks of sea foam green thrown in.

I see hair that's a toss up between brown and blonde, that shines like gold in the sunlight.

I see my somewhat lopsided smile, and curves that say "Hey! I'm a woman now!"

And I've got life, magnificent life, flowing through my veins...air that He breathed into my lungs...

and that is the most beautiful attribute I have. That I was crafted carefully, delicately,

beautifully by Him, for Him.

What a marvelous thought.