Sometimes, dreams really are little wishes that our heart makes.

You know, the dreams where when you wake up, you can't help but feel a little bit devastated because you'd just had your whole world in your hands only a moment before...but then it was snatched away as you woke up?

I get those dreams a lot, and always with the same scenario...and I'm trying to get away from it, I'm trying to move on from it, but it's like no matter what I do, I'm stuck with it until something else comes along. And I hope something else does come along soon. Because this is one of those impossible wishes, one that looks completely hopeless...and you know that if it comes true, it'll be the greatest gift God will ever give you, a true miraculous blessing...and who am I to deserve that?

Sometimes my heart and my head get so mixed up, even I don't know what I'm talking about.

(PS: Nobody had the really good version of that quote in picture format. It makes me sad. I love that quote. And it bugs me that it's not correct.) :(

Comfort food. :)

When I was little, any time I ate Jell-o I pretended I was Simba, and that the Jell-o was a bug, and I would slurp it up! Mmm mmm good!

How traumatizing.

"This is the night, what a beautiful night, and they call it 'bella notte'!"

Wouldn't it be awesome if dresses for dances and such were still like that today? So elegant!

They're so fluffy!

Second star to the right and straight on till morning!

Phillip is my very favorite prince. Not even Flynn Rider can replace him ;)

May I have them all please??? :D

Disney movies are like a warm fluffy blanket with a delicious mug of hot chocolate, a puppy curled up at your feet, snow gently falling outside, and the smell of yummy yummy food filling the house.
Maybe I'm strange. Oh well :)

Forever is a long, long time and time has a way of changing things.

Comment: I love him so.

I have bought so many kids books lately, it's a little bit ridiculous! I mean, how many single 18 year olds really think about buying their future kids books? Hmmm.

I finally got around to reading this book. I actually liked it quite a bit, but the movie followed it so closely, there was nothing in the book that was new to me, which made it simply enjoyable; there was no suspense! This is the kind of book that would have killed me with suspense.

I wouldn't recommend it though, simply because of graphic content. I could go on a whole rant about how unnecessary it is to have dirty things in a book that would've been otherwise fine without it...Gah.

I feel like redoing my room, somehow. Repainting maybe. Right now, three walls are orange, with one wall pink, with all sorts of pink embellishments on the orange walls.

I feel tired of it. It's almost too much, ya know? I liked it so much...I still do. See, I'm just so indecisive. Even if I could just change it from the bold shades of pink and orange, to light shades of pink and orange, that could be cool.

I gotta think about it.

...it's starting to get colder :) Yay for Christmas and coziness and lotsa blankets, and snow!!!!!

I miss my Gilmore girls with so much of my little heart. Nasty ABC Family replaced them with nasty dirty filthy Secret Life of the American Teenager, and I only have the first 2 seasons, and have already gone through them. The Gilmores are like my bedtime lullaby. I feel so sad without them.

-from the song "Fix You" by Coldplay. I love that song. Every time I hear it, I ponder on this line. When you love someone, and they don't love you back, or it doesn't work out...was it really all just a waste? Somehow, even though it may be easiest to get all debbie-downer and think yes, it was a waste...I imagine that no, it wasn't. It's that whole big picture idea, you know? Right now, you're only seeing a fuzzy little section...but when you back up, you can see the entire picture, and you think "Oooh, it all makes sense now!" It makes me think of this quote, by Corrie Ten Boom:

"Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see."

I love that.

I'd like to say that I'm going to be rebellious and go to bed now, since I'm feeling sleepy, and it's only 8 o'clock (that's why it's rebellious). But chances are, I'll go upstairs, plop into bed, and immediately become restless, as I always do. So I'll probably read a while, then think of how I can rearrange my room (it's been on my mind today), maybe watch some Scooby Doo (I recorded an old episode!!! So exciting), mosey around for a bit. Then I'll probably fall asleep around 11, 11:30. My plans just never work. *sigh* Oh well ;)

I ate a ton of icing while writing this. I'm so bad.

~I hate the new Scooby Doo. No, really. They've got "What's New Scooby Doo?" made in 2011, and the animation is SO not like the old one! I miss the old, fun, cartoony animation...it's like how they have Mickey Mouse all over the Disney channel, but he's in this funky computer animation. That is NOT Mickey Mouse. Gah, what a lie.

~So my bookstore closes on this upcoming Tuesday. I'm pretty bummed. I'm such a book person. I was meant to work at a bookstore.

Oh well!

I did get hired at the Yankee Candle store at our mall, though!! I'm pretty excited. I get an awesome discount ;)

~I finally saw Fantastic Mr. Fox. It was the creepiest thing. Ever. I'm pretty sure it was made for people who are hopped up on drugs.

The little fox was cute though. I really liked him.

~So yesterday, I read two disastrous books in one day. The first was called "Life as we Knew it" by Susan Beth Pfeiffer. In this book, an asteroid hits the moon and knocks it closer towards the earth, and ouila: disaster. Earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, the works. It was an okay book. It really made me think...Like, if something were to happen, like an electromagnetic pulse, where nothing electric would work, the Amish would be so well off!! They wouldn't even know the difference, they'd still be living in contentment. Plus, I now feel justified for my vast amount of books, because they shall provide me entertainment should the world ever begin to end. ;)

The second book was called "Fever 1793" by Laurie Halse Anderson. I read it in like, the 7th grade and loved it, and so I bought it at the last bookstore I worked at (2 years ago!) and finally read it yesterday...Gosh, it was kinda disturbing, really. It's about how yellow fever broke out in Philadelphia in the year of 1793, and thousands of people died, and about half of the city left to get away from the illness...I had horrid dreams all night. Then I woke up to an insane thunderstorm, which made me think of the first book...lovely things to read, really :)

(PS: weheartit is totally...i don't even know. Let's just say that in every picture of a girl reading that I found, the girl was brunette. No blondes! That just doesn't seem right. I am offended.)

~So we had my brother's open house at the middle school this past Tuesday, and I simply had to go since it's at a brand new middle school they just built to replace the old one (It's so wrong...we never got real heating and air conditioning!!!) Anyways, blech blech blech. I am NOT a school person. Not to say I don't like to learn...I do. But school and I are just not amigos! I was nauseous the entire time, ugh. It makes me shudder just to think about it. I'm so glad I'm done. At least for the foreseeable future, unless God decides I simply have to go to college. ;)

~Oh yeah, did I tell you my brother got married? He did :) It was cool. Her dress was outrageous! See the picture below ↓ ↓ ↓ There must've been at least 50 layers, and it took about 20 minutes to straighten out before the wedding! It was beautiful though. I had to work so hard to hold back sobs as I stood up front with my Medusa hair...yes, my Medusa hair. Oh well, it was fun! And beautiful. *sigh*

~Maybe someday I'll have a meaningful blog. Ya know, where I talk about important stuff. But for now, I'm happy just being random and fun :) Hope ya don't mind!

....and I'm not really sure what's going on in that picture. It just made me smile :)

So when I get mad, you may never know it. I don't outright talk about it. I don't freak out. I don't explode in anger.

I seethe.

I keep it all to myself, and think. And all that thinking can be bad, considering the more I think about it, the angrier I get. And the angrier I get, the more I think about it. And then after so long of this, I usually have some sort of spaz out or another.

It's just not healthy, ya know?

Anyways, I'm usually not like this. I mean, not very often, that is...But when there's something or someone I have a bad attitude about, it takes next to nothing for me to get like that.

Thus, tonight, I kinda got like that...just for a little bit. Then I saw this picture...

and it made me feel kinda guilty. I mean, it's true: what a waste of energy.

Pictures don't magically cure bad attitudes though. I need to work on that.

Concerning Hobbits.

My week in ten words or less:

~Cake.

~Books.

~Hobbits.

~Headaches.

~Ouch.

~The ouch and the headaches go together of course ;) I think it's the transitioning back and forth from the air conditioning at work to the hotness outside. Instant headache, ya know? Gah.

~So the other day, I woke up super grumpy. It was dreadful. So I cleaned, and I really really wanted to bake something. So I went across the street, and raided my Nana's cupboards and got the items to make the yummiest chocolate cake ever. (I definitely prefer white icing on chocolate cake to chocolate icing on chocolate cake...yuck!) I was instantly happier, and my gleefulness has lasted about 3 straight days now! How lovely!

On a side note, it's times like these when it's awesome that I live with my 6-person family...cause otherwise, I'd have eaten that cake all to myself ;)

~My bookstore is closing. Already. It's part of a mall that is ridiculous, and must have a hundred clothing stores...wait, I'mma go look it up.

Okay. 71 clothing stores (egads) and 18 shoe stores.

1 bookstore. That will be gone in the next 3 weeks. Because it's getting replaced with another clothing store. Ay ay ay.

Anyways, since we're closing, everything is 50% off...so Miss Lauren here's been buying lots and lots of books...Sigh. Ya know my worst new habit? "Someday, I'll have kids, and so I'm getting this adorable (and cheap) children's book for my own future children!!! And if I don't have kids for whatever reason, I'll give the books to my nieces and nephews!"

I have a sickness.

I'm sad though. I actually really really like my job. I honestly enjoy each and every person I work with...they're all kindred spirits. Plus, it never hurts to surround yourself with books ;)

~I've finally reached that age where I'm officially no longer "one of the kids". Example: my parents went out without me today, and took my two younger siblings, and I practically wasn't even invited since they didn't even have room for me on their outing! I did have to work today, but still. Sigh. So here I sit, watching Lord of the Rings again. Lucky me, I get to chill downstairs on the super comfy couch with the ginormous tv ;) I wish I had a kitten to sit on my lap...

~On a total side note, I just finished this book called "Dream Factory". It was pretty much terribly written, and a little bit *cough* stupid, yet I kinda loved it. Guess why! The entire book takes place in Disney World (Disney Land? I don't know the difference), and the characters are teenagers who are temporarily hired to play the Disney characters. The two main characters of the book play Cinderella and Dale (as in Chip and Dale?). Isn't that spiffy?? Anyways, it's totally awesome, because throughout the whole book, they talk about how Robin Hood just walked by, and they're chilling in the Swiss family treehouse and such. It was just cool!

~I love Aragorn. With like, a whole half of my heart.

Ya know, this girl at school once told me I reminded her of a Lord of the Rings elf...Cause I'm just sooo serene and wise! Pfft not. She didn't actually say that...I was being sarcastic. But she did tell me I reminded her of one...I still think that's weird.

I think I'mma have to turn this movie off. It's actually a bit scary when you're sitting all by yourself in the dark, watching it... :o

~My big brother's getting married a week from tomorrow. It's so odd. I mean, just yesterday, we were teeny tiny, and the very best of friends. Now he's getting married. I mean, he's old enough to get married. Sometimes, that's what hits me. You know, in the book "Where the Heart is", there's a part where the main character, Novalee, says to her friend Forney, something along the lines of "Don't you feel like you're just a little kid playing an adult?" Like, sometimes it hits me as I'm driving home from work, or being in my cousin's wedding, driving to the bank, stuff like that...it's like, I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm at that age where some parents tell their kids to move on out! (I'm happy my parents aren't included in that.)

Yeah, my mind is just like blah today. I don't even know if that made any sense, but I'm givin' up.

~You know how people always say, "Stop living in the past" and such? Well, I think my problem is that my mind is always "in" the future. Like Rapunzel, I can't help but think "when will my life begin?" Gosh, I'm so dramatic. I'm only 18. I need to get over myself.

Right?

~I FINALLY got to see Soul Surfer this week....myyy goodness. I loved that movie. It was beyond amazing. It was such an emotional movie...I'd love to watch it again. I tried to watch it with my little brother and little sister...Bella gave up on it as soon as the shark part came up though. *rolls eyes* I mean, she knew it was going to happen! Silly girl.

~I sometimes wonder what life would be like without headaches. Seriously. I've had probably at least 2, 3 headaches a week since I was little. How fascinating it'd be to go a month without one...

Okay. I've officially gotta go. Adios, mis amigos! :D

Do you ever just feel like you want to run away? Not forever, just for a day or two, so you can get away to somewhere calm, and just breathe.

I find myself feeling like that a lot lately. I'm a stressed out person who's got no reason to be stressed out.

I just want to go to sleep for a long while.

(Except that I took a nap today, and therefore, know that I shan't be able to fall asleep for a long time tonight. Too bad I have to get up at 7 in the morning :|)

Winnie the Pooh makes me want to cry. He just says the most precious things.